Who Does Sara Jessica Parker Think She Is? ( NBC episode)

I was caught off guard while watching the new NBC show and first segment featuring Sara Jessica Parker on the new series titled "Who Do You Think You are?" which helps famous stars track down their ancestors using historical and genealogical experts who work with each actor to uncover their long lost or unknown ancestors. Parker starts off saying her father's side is Eastern European Jewish and her Mother's side is of German descent. Both sides of the family are from Cincinnati, Ohio. Parker visits her Mother in New Jersey and with her Mother's help Parker gathers the names of all her grand and great grandparents and other relatives. In the course of looking at the names, she comes across an Anglo sounding name Hodge, later comes across a wife of a Hodge named Elwell. Turns out one of the Hodges in the late 1840's goes out West in search of gold and is written up in his local newspaper as dying in 1849. Parker is excited by this find and after a trip to Eldorado, California where she discovers this ancestor named Hodge dies of a disease that many miners searching for gold succumbed to around that same time, 1849 or 50.

Parker comes across other Hodges and also Elwells from New England. She goes to New England and discovers one of the Elwells is accused of murder during the Salem witchcraft trials period. She is relieved to discover this Elwell who is some kind of Great Great Great Great ... Grandparent never comes to trial and is spared as she is the last accused in the whole witchcraft episode and the cases come to a close just in time to spare this family member. Parker shares each new discovery about these ancestors conveying a sense of awe and excitement in the knowledge that members of her family were part of traditional history we all think of when we hear about the American experience. At one point toward the end of the episode she even says (paraphrasing), I never really felt like I was an American and now I do. She seems very proud she can share these names and facts about these so called very American ancestors with her children and that now their progeny will also know the true story of their family heritage.

I was surprised Sara Jessica Parker grew up thinking she was not really an American. I am Jewish on both sides of my family and I always felt very American and I am only second generation with grandparents born in the old country (Poland and Russia). Sure I did not feel I was part of the Anglo-Saxon America or Puritan America. I knew I was not descended from the folks who came over on the Mayflower or from those who rode covered wagons or plowed ground in the Midwest or New England. But still I am American, Jewish and born in U.S.A. which is quite real and no mystery to me. on the other hand, Sara Jessica Parker comes off somewhat ashamed of her Mother's seemingly all German American (Germantown,Cincinnati) background and her Father's Jewish relatives who are not mentioned at all in the broadcast. I say this because Parker was just too enthusiastic about finding that because one relative's line was old line Anglo-Saxon Puritan America, she was suddenly redeemed and rediscovered. She states "this experience has changed my life" and "turned everything upside down and inside out." So does that mean before she was poor Cinderella who suddenly finds the slipper of a Prince fits, The Prince being old line American Protestants, not German or Jewish. Nothing wrong with being descended from these old line families who had both good and bad in them like everyone else and who have gained enormous stature for being the first non Indians to claim this land of ours. The problem lies in the naive belief that Sara Jessica Parker conveys to everyone watching the show, maybe it is poor editing, that finding she is a true American and most of the rest of us are not is quite offensive and conveys a very wrong message to America and Americans alike. And another thing, Sara Jessica Parker should know better. I am hoping the rest of this series offers something better than I experienced as the Parker "downer". And by the way, I really admire Parker
as an actress, loved

Sex in the City

. I certainly expected more from her.

Sharon Raphael

Jon Manasse, my cousin, plays Mozart for Seattle Symphony Orchestra

Go to this website (http://kbaq.org/music/cdreviews/20100124.) to hear Jon playing Mozart. Jon Manasse is my first cousin Helen' s son. Helen is the daughter of one of my Mother's (all 4 deceased) 3 sisters. They were very close especially in the younger years. I have always enjoyed his brilliant clarinet sound. Thanks Jon. I also have the disk of same. Jon teaches at Julliard and at Rochester University in the Music School. He graduated from Julliard. He often works with a pianist Jon Nakamatsu where they play as the Manasse/Nakamatsu Duo. They are both co-Directors of the Cap Cod Chamber Music Festival. Manasse plays solo concerts around the world.

Interview on Lesbian and Gay Studies

Today Mina and I were interviewed by Dr. Susan Freeman, assistant professor of women's studies at Minnesota State University, Mankato. She plans to write a book on the history of Lesbian and Gay Studies courses and related symposums and workshops that were taught in the late sixties through 1987. I had a good time both preparing and doing the interview. I found some news clipping from a column MIna and I wrote in our college newspaper (CSCDH) now (CSUDH) titled Lavender Notes. We relayed the news of the day re Gay Liberation and Lesbian activism going on in the Los Angeles and wider communities. That was back in 1975. I taught a variety of courses starting around 1974 that focused on Gay concerns, i.e. Lesbian and Gay Communites, The Lesbian and Gay Experience, Aging in the Lesbian and Gay Communities. Last semester I taught my last course focused on The Life Cycle of Lesbians and Gays (Lesbian and Gay Aging and Health Issues) that was sponsored by the graduate Gerontology curriculum. I plan to retire in May so the powers that be are also retiring the Gerontology Program with me. It was a good run while it lasted. I think eventually Gerontology will start up again via the Sociology Dept at CSUDH.

One noticeable difference I noted between then and today after I read several installments of Lavender Notes was how much mo progressive we were and more open we were about explaining exactly everything going on in the LGBT communities which we knew. We talked about how Socialism was patriarchal and needed changing. We talked about the Lavender and Red Union of which we were supporters. We mentioned the first Gay Alcoholism treatment Center at GCSC. We discussed "coming out" issues and talked about both the risks and positives that could benefit those who came out on college campuses and beyond. We were very optimistic about what was going on in the activist communities. It was lovely to look back and to remember that once upon a time, a small group of LGBT people made great waves and changed their own lives dramatically as well as had a real impact on the world, we made our imprint not only in the minds and hearts of people but also reallly got to the soul of what we were about., making the world safer for all Lesbians and Gay men yet risking our anonymity and throwing off our horrid masks to get there.

Update Jan. 23, 2010

The rain ceased today. Our new front lawn grass is growing like crazy. I understand more rain coming next week. Mina is doing great, her wound is almost fully healed. She was interviewed by Arden Eversmeyer today for the OLOC, OLD Lesbian Oral Herstory Project (Archives).

Mina is home

Mina came home on Monday Dec 14.
I spent the day before preparing the house
for her return, shopping etc.

I am exhausted already as Mina needs lots
of physical help transferring from bed to wheelchair
and wheelchair to bathroom toilet. Also just dealing
Bed rails and wherlchair etc. Is not easy.

We have a CalPers policy that pays for
A CNA or caregiver person. So we are
Checking out different options , online and by
Phone.

Overall, most of time we are doing fine and
Mina will be able to walk on her own in a few
Weeks. By Feb hopefully this ordeal will be behind her
and us.


From my iPod plus.
SRaphael

The Noodle Kugel: A very short story

The Noodle Kugel


I had a funny thing happen around a noodle kugel that a friend named Elsa made for Mina to eat at Thanksgiving time. Mina had some of the kugel (she had eaten some the day before as Elsa had brought it all the way from Oceanside, Ca.) after I left for home). Mina had what was left put in a locked refrigerator at the nursing home but when she asked for it, I was going to eat some too, it was gone. This also happened previously with some probiotic yogurt I had brought. A male nurse who seemed to be in charge of the Frig encouraged me to talk to the Director of the Home because he was under the impression that someone ate our food and this was wrong. Explaining to this very non Jewish guy(The Director) what a noodle kugel was not easy. He asked if he could replace it, like go out and buy one. Understand, we are in the middle of the Mexican American ghetto which is where this nursing home happens to be located. I said "You can't replace a noodle kugel, it is not replaceable. He said is it llike Ramen noodles?

I said "Kugel meanss pudding in Yiddish". The Director looked at me blankly. " It is hard to describe" I said "but there is farmer's cheese in it". Oy Vey. What could I say? Getting to the point, the Director said Mina had to put a date on the food she put in the Frig in order to expect it to be there as the staff is instructed to throw it out if it doesn't have a date. I wondered but not outloud why the staff didn't seem to know this and 'au contrar' seemed to think other staff were eating food meant for the residents. I told him to call Mina and tell her this information about the dating of the food. He could have gone down to her room in the first place but did not. Makes me wonder about those like Mina who are pretty much bed bound. Mina listened and admitted she had not dated the food.

Anyway, we both ended up getting some mediocre tuna fish sandwiches to eat as a mid-day snack. It was a poor substitute for the vision and taste I imagined of that noodle kugel Mina's friend Elsa had made. When I got home, I felt deprived so I bought a sweet at a coffee house and went home. Here I have lost 24 lbs. since Mina's fall, and now I think I am off the wagon once again. Oh, no, that damn noodle kugel. But it seemed so right, the way it looked in my mind with a sweet brown and yellow crust, yummy egg noodles and farmer's cheese and brown sugar oozing about. My Mother's face was watching me think about the noodle kugel and I know she smiled knowingly as I ate a pumpkin slice instead along with a cup of coffee.

Such are my days. Learn something every day at the nursing home.

Sharon

Email to Friend about Mina plus

Sent from my iPod

Begin forwarded message:

From: Sharon Raphael
Date: November 26, 2009 12:26:48 PM PST
To:
Subject: Re: Happy Thanksgiving Wishes...

Dori,

Yes, of course I will take Mina the card as I do all the others. It will be nice to see you in December.

Wed late afternonn Mina and I sat down and had a t-day dinner at the
Rehab place. It wasn't as good as the food usually is, not even any cranberry sauce. But we listened to some pretty fine Mexican music and enjoyed the other 2 guests at our table, one engaging Thai fellow who will be leaving the place after 7 mo. (he had a stroke) and a smiling woman with dementia who loved being seranaded. She still had her sex appeal.

Mina sat in her wheelchair longer than usual. It is hard for her as she has 2 pressure sores she got from being in the hospital not the nursing home. But she did okay and they are healing. So is her ankle.

Today Mina has 4 sets of visitors arriving mostly at different times.
After Carolyn and I visit, we are both going to a family style cafeteria I like for our own T-Day dinner in LB.

Mina's friend Elsa is bringing Mina a noodle kugel she baked.

All the best,

Sharon

Yesterday after sending an old friend from high school one of those emails I had forwarded on to twelve people, I heard back from her. She asked me how I was. I told her about what happened to Mina and then she called me on the phone. I have only seen this person once since our early college days and that time being fairly recently. Several years ago, we got together when she happened to be in my city for a convention. Like me, my friend is a Professor in a similar field so we do have a lot to talk about on that score. Our lives drifted in different directions as my friend is a very conservative religious Jew, and I am a very non conservative non religious Jew. Seems like our views on Israel are not as far apart as one might guess. We both think the leftist knee jerk reaction to everything very diversified Israelis (people tend to see Israelis as all white) do or think is wrong. We both are against settlements.

My former classmate has been married for many years since college days. After I sort of "came out" with her, I moved to California and we drifted apart but one day about ten years ago I came across her name in an academic publication, I googled her and her email came up so I wrote. Several years ago when we met at a downtown hotel, I saw the same person I knew in high school, a caring, thoughtful person who reached out to me though even back then we appeared to live in such different worlds. On second, thought, she kind of revealed to me that we are not in such different worlds. Her primary attachments seem to be with woman friends. Her best friend is a nun at her college. It is hard to discern what our differences really are but the chasm seems pretty large to me. It is like to talking to my cousin in NYC. who has been married for eons, lives on Long Island, and is very involved with her grandchildren. Family is not the focus of my life, Mina and our friends are though.

Nonetheless, my friend and I had a good conversation. It is nice to know people care even if we are connecting again at these later ages. There is something about connecting at this time in life (We are both approaching 70 in year and half. I think it has to do with family roles changing. It is easier for heterosexual women to reach across the divide because they are no longer threatened. The lost years are their (her) loss not mine.

Sharon Raphael