The Noodle Kugel
I had a funny thing happen around a noodle kugel that a friend named Elsa made for Mina to eat at Thanksgiving time. Mina had some of the kugel (she had eaten some the day before as Elsa had brought it all the way from Oceanside, Ca.) after I left for home). Mina had what was left put in a locked refrigerator at the nursing home but when she asked for it, I was going to eat some too, it was gone. This also happened previously with some probiotic yogurt I had brought. A male nurse who seemed to be in charge of the Frig encouraged me to talk to the Director of the Home because he was under the impression that someone ate our food and this was wrong. Explaining to this very non Jewish guy(The Director) what a noodle kugel was not easy. He asked if he could replace it, like go out and buy one. Understand, we are in the middle of the Mexican American ghetto which is where this nursing home happens to be located. I said "You can't replace a noodle kugel, it is not replaceable. He said is it llike Ramen noodles?
I said "Kugel meanss pudding in Yiddish". The Director looked at me blankly. " It is hard to describe" I said "but there is farmer's cheese in it". Oy Vey. What could I say? Getting to the point, the Director said Mina had to put a date on the food she put in the Frig in order to expect it to be there as the staff is instructed to throw it out if it doesn't have a date. I wondered but not outloud why the staff didn't seem to know this and 'au contrar' seemed to think other staff were eating food meant for the residents. I told him to call Mina and tell her this information about the dating of the food. He could have gone down to her room in the first place but did not. Makes me wonder about those like Mina who are pretty much bed bound. Mina listened and admitted she had not dated the food. Anyway, we both ended up getting some mediocre tuna fish sandwiches to eat as a mid-day snack. It was a poor substitute for the vision and taste I imagined of that noodle kugel Mina's friend Elsa had made. When I got home, I felt deprived so I bought a sweet at a coffee house and went home. Here I have lost 24 lbs. since Mina's fall, and now I think I am off the wagon once again. Oh, no, that damn noodle kugel. But it seemed so right, the way it looked in my mind with a sweet brown and yellow crust, yummy egg noodles and farmer's cheese and brown sugar oozing about. My Mother's face was watching me think about the noodle kugel and I know she smiled knowingly as I ate a pumpkin slice instead along with a cup of coffee.
Such are my days. Learn something every day at the nursing home.
Sharon
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Email to Friend about Mina plus
Sent from my iPod
Begin forwarded message:
From: Sharon Raphael
Date: November 26, 2009 12:26:48 PM PST
To:
Subject: Re: Happy Thanksgiving Wishes...
Dori,
Yes, of course I will take Mina the card as I do all the others. It will be nice to see you in December.
Wed late afternonn Mina and I sat down and had a t-day dinner at the
Rehab place. It wasn't as good as the food usually is, not even any cranberry sauce. But we listened to some pretty fine Mexican music and enjoyed the other 2 guests at our table, one engaging Thai fellow who will be leaving the place after 7 mo. (he had a stroke) and a smiling woman with dementia who loved being seranaded. She still had her sex appeal.
Mina sat in her wheelchair longer than usual. It is hard for her as she has 2 pressure sores she got from being in the hospital not the nursing home. But she did okay and they are healing. So is her ankle.
Today Mina has 4 sets of visitors arriving mostly at different times.
After Carolyn and I visit, we are both going to a family style cafeteria I like for our own T-Day dinner in LB.
Mina's friend Elsa is bringing Mina a noodle kugel she baked.
All the best,
Sharon
Yesterday after sending an old friend from high school one of those emails I had forwarded on to twelve people, I heard back from her. She asked me how I was. I told her about what happened to Mina and then she called me on the phone. I have only seen this person once since our early college days and that time being fairly recently. Several years ago, we got together when she happened to be in my city for a convention. Like me, my friend is a Professor in a similar field so we do have a lot to talk about on that score. Our lives drifted in different directions as my friend is a very conservative religious Jew, and I am a very non conservative non religious Jew. Seems like our views on Israel are not as far apart as one might guess. We both think the leftist knee jerk reaction to everything very diversified Israelis (people tend to see Israelis as all white) do or think is wrong. We both are against settlements.
My former classmate has been married for many years since college days. After I sort of "came out" with her, I moved to California and we drifted apart but one day about ten years ago I came across her name in an academic publication, I googled her and her email came up so I wrote. Several years ago when we met at a downtown hotel, I saw the same person I knew in high school, a caring, thoughtful person who reached out to me though even back then we appeared to live in such different worlds. On second, thought, she kind of revealed to me that we are not in such different worlds. Her primary attachments seem to be with woman friends. Her best friend is a nun at her college. It is hard to discern what our differences really are but the chasm seems pretty large to me. It is like to talking to my cousin in NYC. who has been married for eons, lives on Long Island, and is very involved with her grandchildren. Family is not the focus of my life, Mina and our friends are though.
Nonetheless, my friend and I had a good conversation. It is nice to know people care even if we are connecting again at these later ages. There is something about connecting at this time in life (We are both approaching 70 in year and half. I think it has to do with family roles changing. It is easier for heterosexual women to reach across the divide because they are no longer threatened. The lost years are their (her) loss not mine.
Sharon Raphael
Begin forwarded message:
From: Sharon Raphael
Date: November 26, 2009 12:26:48 PM PST
To:
Subject: Re: Happy Thanksgiving Wishes...
Dori,
Yes, of course I will take Mina the card as I do all the others. It will be nice to see you in December.
Wed late afternonn Mina and I sat down and had a t-day dinner at the
Rehab place. It wasn't as good as the food usually is, not even any cranberry sauce. But we listened to some pretty fine Mexican music and enjoyed the other 2 guests at our table, one engaging Thai fellow who will be leaving the place after 7 mo. (he had a stroke) and a smiling woman with dementia who loved being seranaded. She still had her sex appeal.
Mina sat in her wheelchair longer than usual. It is hard for her as she has 2 pressure sores she got from being in the hospital not the nursing home. But she did okay and they are healing. So is her ankle.
Today Mina has 4 sets of visitors arriving mostly at different times.
After Carolyn and I visit, we are both going to a family style cafeteria I like for our own T-Day dinner in LB.
Mina's friend Elsa is bringing Mina a noodle kugel she baked.
All the best,
Sharon
Yesterday after sending an old friend from high school one of those emails I had forwarded on to twelve people, I heard back from her. She asked me how I was. I told her about what happened to Mina and then she called me on the phone. I have only seen this person once since our early college days and that time being fairly recently. Several years ago, we got together when she happened to be in my city for a convention. Like me, my friend is a Professor in a similar field so we do have a lot to talk about on that score. Our lives drifted in different directions as my friend is a very conservative religious Jew, and I am a very non conservative non religious Jew. Seems like our views on Israel are not as far apart as one might guess. We both think the leftist knee jerk reaction to everything very diversified Israelis (people tend to see Israelis as all white) do or think is wrong. We both are against settlements.
My former classmate has been married for many years since college days. After I sort of "came out" with her, I moved to California and we drifted apart but one day about ten years ago I came across her name in an academic publication, I googled her and her email came up so I wrote. Several years ago when we met at a downtown hotel, I saw the same person I knew in high school, a caring, thoughtful person who reached out to me though even back then we appeared to live in such different worlds. On second, thought, she kind of revealed to me that we are not in such different worlds. Her primary attachments seem to be with woman friends. Her best friend is a nun at her college. It is hard to discern what our differences really are but the chasm seems pretty large to me. It is like to talking to my cousin in NYC. who has been married for eons, lives on Long Island, and is very involved with her grandchildren. Family is not the focus of my life, Mina and our friends are though.
Nonetheless, my friend and I had a good conversation. It is nice to know people care even if we are connecting again at these later ages. There is something about connecting at this time in life (We are both approaching 70 in year and half. I think it has to do with family roles changing. It is easier for heterosexual women to reach across the divide because they are no longer threatened. The lost years are their (her) loss not mine.
Sharon Raphael
Friday, November 20, 2009
Update on Mina and Sharon
Life goes on. Mina and I have settled into our different routines. Mina is adjusting well to living in a nursing home temporarily. She needs to be there for a minimum of another 3 wks. getting attended to by nurses who specialize in taking care of her wound vac machine and other special needs she has. Her wound is healing well. She is learning to stand on one leg and pivot into her wheelchair with some help. This is important for her functioning at home.
I visit Mina every day usually during the afternoon after lunchtime though often I am there when she gets her lunch which is good. I teach a class every Thursday evening so on those days I visit in the morning. This thursday is Thanksgiving so I am looking forward to a break and then only 2 wks. of classes left. Next semester I may have a heavier load of teaching which I kind of dread. Because of budget cuts I may get a very large class of students, something I haven't done in years as I usually teach graduate students. But I need to keep my health insurance going at full speed ahead; otherwise I might drop a class. My other class is not a class, it is administrative work I do for the Gerontology Option. So I need two to maintain my present coverage especially dental.
I am now the bill payer in the family and also have had some handywork done, something Mina usually is doing, hiring people for odd jobs etc. I kind of like paying online. I get to see what's up. It may be hard to give back all these little new roles I am learning. However, today I think I was overcharged for putting in a deadbolt lock in my front door. I was charged 175.00 and I think I was taken. It only took about 40 minutes. He did a good job but still....It was someone I trusted so I was taken aback and didn't know how to question it until he left.
Well, a little time left to the evening, I'd like to go a read more of the book I am into lately, The Help by Kathryn Stockett. It is about several women in Mississippi around 1961 after integration of Old Miss and all the rioting. It is from the viewpoint of several maids working for white people during those trying time ( as though they are not still trying) and also from viewpoint of a young white person who is learning about racism. It is a controversial book because it is written by a white woman, thus how authentic can it be? But worth a read so far.
Sharon Raphael
I visit Mina every day usually during the afternoon after lunchtime though often I am there when she gets her lunch which is good. I teach a class every Thursday evening so on those days I visit in the morning. This thursday is Thanksgiving so I am looking forward to a break and then only 2 wks. of classes left. Next semester I may have a heavier load of teaching which I kind of dread. Because of budget cuts I may get a very large class of students, something I haven't done in years as I usually teach graduate students. But I need to keep my health insurance going at full speed ahead; otherwise I might drop a class. My other class is not a class, it is administrative work I do for the Gerontology Option. So I need two to maintain my present coverage especially dental.
I am now the bill payer in the family and also have had some handywork done, something Mina usually is doing, hiring people for odd jobs etc. I kind of like paying online. I get to see what's up. It may be hard to give back all these little new roles I am learning. However, today I think I was overcharged for putting in a deadbolt lock in my front door. I was charged 175.00 and I think I was taken. It only took about 40 minutes. He did a good job but still....It was someone I trusted so I was taken aback and didn't know how to question it until he left.
Well, a little time left to the evening, I'd like to go a read more of the book I am into lately, The Help by Kathryn Stockett. It is about several women in Mississippi around 1961 after integration of Old Miss and all the rioting. It is from the viewpoint of several maids working for white people during those trying time ( as though they are not still trying) and also from viewpoint of a young white person who is learning about racism. It is a controversial book because it is written by a white woman, thus how authentic can it be? But worth a read so far.
Sharon Raphael
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Friday, November 06, 2009
Mina's (Our) Progress
Mina is now in a Nursing Home/Rehab place. She has been there for 2 days and she seems to be accommodating to the place.
It takes me at least a 1/2 hr. to get there. It is in Pico Rivera in a place with a unlikely name Riviera (Italian not Spanish). Most of the residents there are Spanish speaking which makes it a bit hard on both of us though we really don't mind as the staff is pretty cooperative and friendly. Mina was seen by a physical therapist today who put her in a sling and had her exercise her arms.
She is not allowed to step down on her feet or jump around on one foot either as he doesn't want to risk harming her major injury to her ankle on the right foot. Mina likes the food or she has liked it so far. So one down and who knows how many to go. The place is quite a distance from Long Beach and I would have preferred her being in Long Beach but she needed special care that this place offers. I think Mina's poor body has been through the mill but her spirit is good. In a way, it is Mina who keeps me going. I am doing the bills now, something I always hated doing but they are online now so I kind of like that part. I keep making phone calls trying to catch up with things at home. It is hard work going to see Mina every day and also taking care of the busywork Mina usually did. Wow, Mina really did take good care of me. I plan to return the favor in more than one way. Sometimes I get very tired but one good thing is I am actually losing weight, about 22 lbs. so far. I am very overweight so I see this as a good thing. I don't think I am losing too fast. It has been over the past month or a bit less. I think it is because I am expending more energy than usual and also eating much less. A great combination. So for now all is as well as it can be.
Sharon Raphael
It takes me at least a 1/2 hr. to get there. It is in Pico Rivera in a place with a unlikely name Riviera (Italian not Spanish). Most of the residents there are Spanish speaking which makes it a bit hard on both of us though we really don't mind as the staff is pretty cooperative and friendly. Mina was seen by a physical therapist today who put her in a sling and had her exercise her arms.
She is not allowed to step down on her feet or jump around on one foot either as he doesn't want to risk harming her major injury to her ankle on the right foot. Mina likes the food or she has liked it so far. So one down and who knows how many to go. The place is quite a distance from Long Beach and I would have preferred her being in Long Beach but she needed special care that this place offers. I think Mina's poor body has been through the mill but her spirit is good. In a way, it is Mina who keeps me going. I am doing the bills now, something I always hated doing but they are online now so I kind of like that part. I keep making phone calls trying to catch up with things at home. It is hard work going to see Mina every day and also taking care of the busywork Mina usually did. Wow, Mina really did take good care of me. I plan to return the favor in more than one way. Sometimes I get very tired but one good thing is I am actually losing weight, about 22 lbs. so far. I am very overweight so I see this as a good thing. I don't think I am losing too fast. It has been over the past month or a bit less. I think it is because I am expending more energy than usual and also eating much less. A great combination. So for now all is as well as it can be.
Sharon Raphael
Monday, November 02, 2009
Rehab Delayed, a few more days in hospital for Mina
Because my spouse Mina has a wound vac and diabetes which involves a special kind of nursing, there are no Rehab places at this time in our area that will take her. Thus the hospital as a result of Mina's appealing for a delay is keeping her a few more days which is good as she is getting the physical therapy in the hospital that she needs to recover at a Rehab or at home down the line. Her wound care is priority number one as far as I am concerned and think she is doing the right thing. One issue is that I am so far away from Kaiser Sunset and since I don't drive frwys ( a phobia) I have to rely on friends to take me there or go city streets. One day I took a taxi which was prohibitive but I did it anyway. I hate to ask people for help but they do offer. I plan to go see Mina tomorrow with a neighbor. I did stay overnite when Mina had her own room. I am taking care of myself. Yesterday I visited 2 different Rehab places, neither called the case manager/discharge planner back. We got the message. Stay in hospital a while longer. Kaiser should have known better. Mina is doing well though they keep changing her cast again and again which is painful.
Sharon Raphael
Sharon Raphael
Sunday, November 01, 2009
My spouse Mina will be in Rehab tomorrow
Mina, my legal spouse, will be in a Rehab place tomorrow. She needs to be off her ankle from 6-8 wks. and needs to build up her upper body strength so she can move from bed to a wheel chair without help or at least with less help. Not sure which Rehab. I have two choices, one is better than the other but both will suffice. Kaiser wanted a third choice and there was none I wanted so hope they don't screw with us. I saw a great looking place with good staff. It is only 15 minutes away from where we live. Hope we can get in there. The other place is in Long Beach closer but not as nice. Hope Kaiser goes for the first one.
Sharon Raphael
Sharon Raphael
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